Isaac goes to 3-year-old nursery school tomorrow. I don’t call it pre-school, should I? I will save that for 4 or 5 years old. It’s a nursery school, because didn’t I just wean him a few months ago? Didn’t we just grow out of size two diapers? Isn’t he still a little wobbly when he runs?
Isaac goes to nursery school and he still only says about 3 words, which is an improvement since this time last year.
Today I dragged the kids to Staples to print out and laminate some cards for the teacher that show the signs he uses for some common words because they don’t always look like the ASL version. What if he was signing “help” and no one helped him?
Today I googled ‘GPS trackers for kids’.
Today I considered duct-taping a GPS “tile” on his leg.
Today I frantically texted his lead therapist to make sure she would be there when we got to school.
Today I tried to explain to him that he was going to school tomorrow, and I’m not sure he understands.
Today I loaded up his “talker” with new phrases and his teacher’s name. So he could say “Hi my name is Isaac” to his friends.
Today I worried because he makes involuntary sounds, like all the time. It’s loud. It’s probably the thing I worry about the most socially for him. People are cruel and he is so so sweet.
Today I thought about holing up with my little family in a bunker to keep us all safe.
But Tomorrow I will walk into the school with my baby and let him fly, because he will. He will do great, he will smile and laugh and make crazy loud sounds all day.
Because tomorrow he will have a team of people behind him, loving him, challenging him, encouraging him.
Because tomorrow is always coming, today I will build up the scaffold around him to help him succeed. Today I will make the flash cards, load up the talker, prep the teacher, try to explain what’s next.
Because if I do these things today, tomorrow doesn’t look as scary.
September 8 2019